Adoption -- It's the 'IN" Thing!

Along the way we have had some weird things said to us about adopting our son from Guatemala.  Overall I try to see the good in people and I give the benefit of the doubt more often than I should but that's me.  Sometimes things just hit you wrong.  From the looks you may receive at the mall or the store to the people who actually approach you and say things it is a different world.  I am a very open person... often too open.  I freely talk to others about infertility and anything that they may want to talk about.  If I can help someone see something in a better light then I am going to try.  David, my shy and reserved husband... not so much.  He is extremely personal and this is fine.  He was approached by one of his employees who said "Where did your baby come from"?  He simply and quietly replied "My house".  He was right.  I had just brought Luke from our house to his office to viist.  Now that is NOT a bad question but it just hit him wrong.  Some of the below things though... I am not so sure.

• "Where did you buy your baby from"?  (Said to me at a formal business dinner in front of about 8 people).  So many things that I can say here but won't.  Enough Said.

• "Why did you adopt a baby and not have your own kids"? (Allow me to explain to you WHY I do not need to be pregnant again).

• "Is your baby adopted"?  (OK not a bad question and one that is asked often but is it just the tone?  Dude... you know he is adopted!)

• "People adopt to look like heros" (I clearly forgot my superman cape that day).

• "Too bad he will grow up in a world that will not be his".  (REALLY?  Will not be his?  He is an American Citizen... he will live in America as long as he is with us and we live here....he will pay taxes, he will go to school, he will learn his native language and he will be a responsible individual.  He will give back to society.  So what WORLD are we talking about?

• "Does he only eat Mexican". (yep...he will only eat burritos...joking! we were at Chic-fil-a though so go figure.  Next time order the Number 1 combo Mexican style I guess.

• "Does he know that he doesn't look like you?  (ok he is 3 1/2....no he hasn't figured it out yet and at this age he doesn't care).

• "Do you think he will feel like you love him".  (well, as soon as we let him out of the dungeon we are making him live in you can ask him). 

• "Don't you feel like you just saved a life"?  (No, we didn't save a life. He saved us). 

• "Aren't you such a hero". (No, we just wanted a family and this was our path in order to do so.  We were the selfish ones because WE wanted children).

•  Ok so many things along the lines of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt that I can't even write them all.  Just because we started our FIRST adoption process before they did doesn't matter but my only reply to people is:  "Angelina and Brad Pitt have nothing on us but fame, money and good looks.  They look at me and have no reply.  Can I help that they wanted to do this because WE DID IT FIRST?  No, I really can't help that.  So Next?

Please don't tell me or insinuate to me that I have done this to be the "IN" thing.  I like fashion, I try to have some fashion sense (you may not like my mullet and I am sorry for that).  It is really sad that the feeling now is that it is a 'fad' to adopt a child.  We are talking about a person's life here.  Someone who was given up for WHATEVER reason.  Someone who when it comes right down to it probably wants to simply be loved.  (Hopefully attachment issues won't occur but the they are not uncommon).  In our case it was a little person who deserved a home. It was the path we were going to take to make our family.  Sure there were other options but this option was the best fit for us.  We chose him.  He did not choose us.  One day I hope to hear him say that he is glad we chose him.  

Something that was said to me that I thought was really cute though was:  "Boy you guys are just collecting kids".  I wish we had it in us to continue the process and adopt as many as we can and still be a functional family and not a dysfunctional one.  What number makes you dysfunctional? Who knows! Dysfunction is a relative term right?  Uhm......